Beware botched thievery checks
Well, that’s official: I’m definitely trying my best to never go to prison now. Let me be clear: I haven’t been sitting around planning some Daniel Ocean heist; however, after a recent Wisconsin Circuit Court of Appeals decision last week, I don’t think I’m going to be committing any phelonies soon. As it turns out, Dungeons and Dragons is officially banned from prisons as a means of entertainment or activity.
Kotaku.com realeased the story last week, detailing the effects of the ban. As it turns out, prison officials deemed the game “too much fun,” as part of their criteria in rejecting a certain prisoner’s appeal; this criteria centered around the thought that prison should be punishment. I must admit: I do agree with equating prison to punishment. But other prisoners had complained that the lead prisoner in question (Kevin Singer, convicted of murder) “and his friends were forming a “gang” around the game.” The game was then banned for its promotion of fantasty roleplaying (duh); escape mentality (as in, it uses maps); and, possibly, gambling (again, see: duh).
Here’s my two-sided beef. First, the prisoner in question is a convicted murderer who wants to play D&D. Dammit, you’re not giving gamers that great of an image sir. We’ve fought long and hard to destroy the illusion that we’re all satanic sacrificial priests who act out our rage on people in the real world. Couldn’t you have just enjoyed a nice game of Boggle instead? Ugh. It’s damn near impossible for me to sympathize with your love of the game.
NONETHELESS (which, when pronounced in Elven would sound something cool like, “nown-ay-thay-lace”).
Inmates have television and other recreational activities that haven’t been deemed too entertaining for “punishment.” You’d better believe that when I was punished as a kid (probably for using the word “damn” when playing with Legos), I was sent straight to my room without television, video games, or the like. However, I had free reign to play with or read anything in my room. As much as I agree that this prisoner should be locked away for a long, long, long time, at least D&D promotes literacy, togetherness, and mathematics.
In short: I agree this man (and other hard criminals) should be punished. On the other hand, I feel a game like D&D should stay on the list of “okay” activities when behind bars. My heist buddies and I agree: prison just doesn’t seem as cool any more. Congratulations, Wisconsin state correctional facilities: you just lost yourself an inmate. I guess I have to be lawful good now.
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